A new year is in full effect. Two weeks into the month of January and I still can’t help but cringe at the abundance of articles promising this “new you.”

And I get it...as I mentioned in my New Year's Resofailures Post, we all want to better ourselves, we want to take action. I’ve been guilty of this too many times. I’ve tried to take so many steps forward, on my own strength, only to find that I’ve stepped into a deceiving pit of quick sand. “At least one foot was planted on firm ground,” I think.

The intentions are correct, but the issue is deeper. Deep issues can’t be fixed with shallow methods. See, contrary to popular belief, God is on our side. But, He’s not interested in our behavior; He’s interested in our heart. Changing your behavior is like simply putting a bandage over an infected wound--it might do a good job at covering it up, but it won't cleanse or heal it.

As May of 2014 rolled around, I found myself exhausted, burnt out, and covered in bandages. Everything seemed great on the outside—I was leading a small group and the children’s ministry I began was booming. I was working full-time as a special education teacher, and traveling on short-term mission trips on the holidays. From an outsider, it all seemed put together… but on the inside I was a wreck. I hadn’t experienced rest in months. I hadn’t enjoyed Jesus in weeks. My alone time with my Bible was more like opening a text book to study for an upcoming test.

In one of my begrudging text-book Bible study sessions, the Lord poured His grace on me when I opened to the book of Galatians. I read over one of my favorite verses in chapter 5, “It is for freedom that Christ has set me free.” I immediately slammed my bible shut, put my hands on my forehead and asked Him quite honestly, “then why do I feel stuck?”

And then my dear Daddy sweetly whispered, “It’s your heart, Kat. You’ve been performing on a wounded heart. Will you let me heal it?”

And in that moment I began the life-long healing process. It took a few months for God to unravel the bandages, but I was finally exposed. And boy, did I fight it at first.

Little did I know that God would soon ask me to give up the performance. He would ask me to seek His face, get to know His characteristics and His attributes. He would ask me to fall madly in love with Him and who He is, before I dared to perform again on my own weakened strength.

Take this day to search your heart. Is there a wound that needs to be healed in this New Year? If so, will you stop trying to perform on a wounded heart and let your dear Savior mend it?